Tuesday, December 4, 2007

Good grief!

Yay, I'm back! It's been a month since the last time I typed here. While I was away from blogging, I...
  • Flew a total of 6,777 miles and traveled to three cities
  • Quit therapy after 2.5 years
  • Bought my Christmas cards and actually started addressing them
  • Finished the heavy lifting for a major project at work that started 2 years ago
  • Baked a pumpkin pie for the first time (and there's a forthcoming post all about it!!)
  • Put together a really great Secret Santa gift box
  • Volunteered 8 hours of time to two worthy charities
  • Hosted out-of-town relatives
  • Attended a conference
  • Got to play supermodel in a photography shoot
  • Bought some sassy new glasses

And I'm sure there are other things I'm leaving out that I can't think of at the moment. Whew! No wonder I'm tired.

I wrote that list in order to inspire myself. Unfortunately, I've lately felt like Charlie Brown while my boss is Lucy holding the football. Just like the Peanuts TV special, November rolled around and I went to kick the hypothetical football. Sure enought, my boss pulled it away. As always, I think that it'll be different "next time". It never is. If only I had Snoopy and Woodstock cooking up some popcorn and toast for me!

I've started to make the scary step of looking for someone else to hold that football. Mentally, it's a tough step for me because, like like Charlie Brown did, I feel like I'm going to go to the slick Christmas tree farm and end up with the twig that can't hold up even one ornament.

I know why I feel so down about the job search. I've worked for my employer for a long time and have grown accustomed to not receiving praise and positive feedback. In what I partly attribute to an "ADD mindset", I think that that praise and positive feedback would come if I worked harder or beat deadlines by a bigger cushion of time or leaped tall buildings in a single bound. But intellectually, I know it ain't going to happen.

The cure for my situation is the same as the cure for Charlie Brown's tree. All I need is a little love. We ADDers thrive on praise, largely because we get accustomed to hearing what's wrong with us. And when I get used to hearing such criticism, I tend to feel like there's no way out of the situation that I'm in.

It's taken me a while to acknowledge that, indeed, there's some employer out there who will hold the football for me and let me kick it soaring clear through the goal posts. But first, I need to put on some eyeblack and cleats, then get myself onto the gridiron. I'm ready for some football!

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